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The Revealing, part II . . .

PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2001 12:41 pm
by theproffet
<font color=blue>Subtitled: "Yeah, I Like Talking About Myself, But It's The Only Topic I Know REALLY Well."

Or alternately, "Theproffet Only Has So Many Ideas." The first version, buried back in the archives from last Spring's growth spurt was pretty successful, so I had to try it again . . .

My given name is Jeffrey, but in my college days I was nicknamed "The Prophet," and it just stuck around. I was a few years older than most of my friends, and given to pronouncements of impending doom, so it seemed to fit. It was only years later that I heard the Yes song, and while I love it, has nothing to do with me . . .

I live in Columbia, Missouri, home of a large university that is not "liberal arts" enough for me. Most of the students are relatively wealthy and stultifyingly conformist--for an intellectual discussion, you're better off with taxi drivers or bartenders, they've read many more books, and have better CD collections.

But life is nice here, a good place to meet women, which I don't object to. I've been single all my life, no children, and that works for me. Three cats, one named Lulubelle after the model for Atom Heart Mother, and her daughter named Hitler for her mustache. I dig chicks who dig guys who dig cats. If they have short dark hair and read books, hey, let's do coffee . . .

I don't work a lot, preferring to subsist on the income from an estate. Eventually, I plan to invest in some local real estate, improving the local neighborhoods, and saving some of our older houses. If I stay in Missouri, that is--an ardent Anglophile, the lure of everything English draws me across the ocean . . .

I'm not ever sure about how to classify myself politically or spiritually. I'm very left-wing, but still a capitalist--very realist, a secular humanist, but Pagan and Wiccan metaphors ring true. I'm still searching for answers, and try to be open minded. Oh yeah, for those of you familiar with astrology, I'm a double Aquarius, both sun and rising signs, which might explain a lot . . .

Plus, posting this topic will be an irresistable lure for Eric, who will make me laugh. . . </font id=blue><img src=pix/icon_smokin.gif border=0 align=middle>

<hr>Yes--It's not just for breakfast anymore . . .

PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2001 5:24 pm
by Ed1909
Well, I did a bit of lurking for the original Revealing thread, but so far as I recall, I didn't post; (it was my early days here - I guess I was a bit shy!<img src=pix/icon_smile_shy.gif border=0 align=middle>)

I'm Ed (short for Edward, but don't EVER use my full name!). I live in a small town called Keynsham, which is half way between Bristol and Bath (BTW, someone once told me the Bonzo Dog Band had a song or album called Keynsham - can anyone enlighten me?). I have pretty much lived around the Wiltshire/Somerset area all my life, although between '90 and '94 I lived in SouthWest London (Wimbledon, then Mitcham, then Morden).

Was born November 3rd 1970 at Bath - that makes me approaching 31; that also makes me Scorpio (unsure of rising sign etc!)

I married the wonderful Heather in 1993, our honeymoon was that year's Glastonbury Festival - man was it hot that weekend; saw Ozric Tentacles and Robert Plant then, and BTW (I feel I'm digressing here a bit) the most magical live music moment I ever experienced was Plant singing Going to California at the Glastonbury Festival as the sun was setting, the Tor in the distance, the haze of exotic smoke....<img src=pix/icon_smile_cool.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=pix/icon_smokin.gif border=0 align=middle> Ahh..memories! Anyway, as I was saying, married to Heather who is a few years older than me! We are soulmates.Heather is an accomplished Tarot Consultant, although she cannot make a full time living of it, she is kept reasonably busy. Her homepage is at

I am the manager of a discount bookshop in the centre of Bristol, and as a book lover, kind of a dream job (although the dream job would be a radio DJ with a classic rock show!). I read pretty much any type of book, and I'm especially fond of novels by Charles deLint and Phil Rickman, neither of whom are well known, but deserve to be.

I am a sports fan (watching, not participating - too unfit for that!), and follow the (mis)fortunes of Bristol City Football Club (that's soccer to you guys in the US!). The 1909 bit of my handle refers to the only year Bristol City reached the FA Cup final (when they lost to bloody Manchester United!)

We live with 5 cats (used to be 7) who are all quite old. Their names are Amman, BJ, Pooh, Maz and Bird (so called cos she chirps!)

Okay; now the politics and religion bit...! Politically, I wish there was a "Common Sense" political party. I have fairly liberal views, although I can sway to the right for some issues (particularly criminal justice, although not in favour of bringing back the death penalty). My religious views I guess are a bit of a mishmash - I am a bit of a "new-ager", I like the Christian ethos, but not the doctrine(if you see what I'm saying), and being a lover of the beauty of the natural world I, like Prof', have some pagan/wiccan leanings too. Being only a 45minute drive away, I regularly visit Glastonbury - the hippy capital of the UK.

Philosophy for life, (in addition to "Give Love Each Day"), is given to me by Bill and Ted - "Be excellent to each other!"

homepage at

recent pic of me taken this summer on top of Glastonbury Tor is at
one day I'll work out how to put a little pic of me here by my posts!

<hr>"Give love each day" - an excellent approach to life

PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2001 5:36 am
by EricBliss12345
Come on Prof, can't you THINK of anything original? First you make this stupid topic twice, then you completely rip off a Yes title for your "Jon Anderson-like" song.

Why not switch things up a bit and make this a different kind of "revealing" thread. We already know everything about each other, so why not just post our best nudies? <img src=pix/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2001 5:43 am
by EricBliss12345
...or at least some partial nudies! I'll go first!


PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2001 5:45 am
by EricBliss12345
<img src="!+Photo+Album/9-5-01+4%2746%2749+PM+(4)---2.jpg?bcRYuXqB59UhiOPM" border=0>

oops lets try this again....

PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2001 5:46 am
by EricBliss12345
...but I'll only show the bottom part for a couple bucks or something. <img src=pix/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2001 5:54 am
by EricBliss12345
OK Im getting the fuck outta this thread! Its stimulating my impulsive "dont think before you act" side in a bad way. BAD BAD idea, Prof! <img src=pix/icon_smile_dissapprove.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2001 9:47 am
by N2yes
<font color=red>Boy, you do work cheap! I'd ask at least 10....</font id=red><img src=pix/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

<hr>Without Hope You Cannot Start The Day

PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2001 12:08 pm
by Yesmam
IMHO It's a great idea Proffet! Not ALL of us were here for the 1st Revealing and I like getting to know everyone better.

I'm am a 42 yr. old Yes fan (did ya guess that?). I have been married for 11 1/2 yrs. to my soul mate who also (like a lot of you) knows a lot about Yes. Still can't get him to do a web board, says he doesn't have time. I love him madly and my heart still goes pitty pat when he walks into the room. We have a 7yr. old daughter that is the light of my life and I don't know how I ever lived without her. I named her after a fictional private detective in a series of books by Sue Grafton. She's my little mini me and sometimes it's freaky to look at her and see me.

We have three dogs, Fluffy, Pepper and Hunny Bunny and 1 cat named Maria (I know, it sounds like a song......I have a cat named Maria!).

Besides book and music, I flower garden, love to dig in the dirt.

I teach Drug and Alcohol Education, I am a teacher, not a therapist. and NO I'm not ANTI-drinking, a lot of people assume that. I just like for people to be informed.

I have no major ISSUES, some pet peeves, but thats a whole other thread. I am very openminded and liberal. I'm am a spiritual being and not a religious one and I believe everyone is spiritual, we just have to find it in ourselves.

I'm very down to earth, don't need to spend a lot of money to be happy, unless of course it's for Yes tickets.

Thats it for me. For now. <img src=pix/icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=pix/icon_smile_angry.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2001 9:14 pm
by Altair
Yesmam, nice post. You are so lucky to have a wonderful family...something this lonestar might someday be blessed with.

I was wondering, since you said you are a teacher of alcohol and drugs. First of all <img src=pix/jestera.gif border=0 align=middle>, do you teach how to use them? <img src=pix/icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle>

No, actually, I was wondering if you have a take on the DARE program taught in schools. Is it a successful program?

PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2001 12:45 am
by yeskat
Good idea, Proffet, since we have a number of new members. I'll have to swing by later when I have more time. <img src=pix/icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2001 12:56 am
by qman
<font color=red>Ed1909 & Yesmam, great posts and nice to meet you. Ed terrific picture of you and Heather, nice web site. I also love Tarot and dabble but unfortunately just never seem to have the time to really study it enough. You'll have to rummage through the first revealing topic to find my post, it's pretty early on as that topic really got a lot of posts and interest! Glad both of you are part of this YES fanatic board.</font id=red><img src=pix/icon_smile_angry.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2001 8:15 am
by yesman90125
I cant believe anyone really wants to hear anymore personal info about me-so I will defer to the original revealing.
However -did you ever go back and look at old posts -man life changes so quickly - the things that seemed so relevent to me then are not issues anymore. when was that like 5 months ago?


PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2001 1:16 pm
by Altair
It all started so long ago, in a near-border town along the Colorado River Basin, Blythe, California. Maybe you've been there and said to yourself, "Man, what a shithole!" Actually, Blythe was a wonderful place to grow up, from riding dirt bikes in the glorious Colorado Desert, to camping under starry skies in the middle of Winter. From the fresh smell of alfalfa rushing through your open car windows, to opressive mid-summer, 125 degree heat, Blythe was quite a town. From massive 4WD kegger parties out in mile-wide washes to floating down the Colorado River for a 100 miles with an icechest of beer on one side and puke on the other side, or from chasing rattlesnakes and chuckawallas, to listening to Yes, Zeppelin, and Floyd thank to your older brothers, Blythe was the shit! These are where Altair's roots begin.

Then, since your old man can't hold a job, your off to another dimension, another part of the world, an antithesis of settings, Wyoming! Talk about a change! With Wyoming came a new sense of nature. Mountain fishing, hiking, and camping took the place of the desert. White snow, below zero, frigid temps replaced the opressive heat. And, women in jackets, turtle necks, and gloves were the only consolation to bare skin in tight cut-offs and dark tans. Wyoming offers a spectacular beauty, but I've longed for the desert ever since.

Now, I find myself in Reno, a place inbetween my childhood extremes. Do I gamble? We have a saying here, "You win some, and you lose more." But, like hard-headed fool, I still gamble.

Before this gets even more boring for you, I'll conclude with these thoughts. A person could spend the rest of their life talking about their life, or we can spend the rest of our lives looking at life, with open eyes and a fresh sense of the moment. I've given you a glimpse of where I've a been. Who I am is another story.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2001 9:43 am
by TaterMouse
Goody, goody!!! Allow me to bore you.

I'm 30. I was born in Newark, Ohio (The residents pronounce that Nerk, Ahia. But there again they also "warsh" their clothes). I attended Ohio State University and was holding a 3.92 GPA when, ten weeks before graduation, I unexecpted quit. In hind sight, a stupid move, but nevetheless it's the way it happened. I guess I really wanted to teach elementary school, but really didn't want to be poor the rest of my life. I moved to Queens, New York, got married and now make 2 1/2 time what I would have as a teacher, by doing IT work for a staffing agency around here. I miss the Midwest dearly, but there's nothing left for me there so I stay here.

I became a Yes fan in 1984 when I first became addicted to Leave It. I liked 90125 so much that I went out and bought another Yes album at random (Close To The Edge) having never heard it before and having no idea of the vast member changes that had occured within the band. I hated it. Two weeks later I couldn't stop listening to it and have since come to love every incarnation of Yes that ever was. I have all official music and some unofficial by Yes and most of it's memebers' solo ventures (excepting Rick Wakeman, of course, who has more albums that I have hairs on my head).

For that last couple of months my brain has been slowly disintegrating for reason unbeknownst to myself. Oddly enough that time frame cooincides accurately with my first post on Yestalk. Chance? Not a chance. It was only at that point that I realized there were other people out there that truly loved Yes the way I do. Now they torment me by telling me of songs I've never heard and sending me on a wild goose chase across the internet in a quest to find that which may or may not even exist.

I am now considering institutionalizing myself after failing in my recent and fruitless quest to discover the existence of Bruford, Wetton, Wakeman demos that most certainly were never taped in the first place.

I smoke, but wish I didn't.
I chew tobacco and wish I didn't
I drink and wish I'd started at a younger age. Scotch is a good thing.

In all seriousness, you guys are great. Thanks for being wonderful, facinating people. Peace to you all. <img src=pix/icon_smokin.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2001 9:54 am
by TaterMouse
Oh hell, I almost forgot. What's a TaterMouse? Well... I'm glad you asked.

A long time ago... In a far far away Midwestern town...

Little Johnny had big ears. He wore a shirt to school in the third grade that had a cartoon mouse on it with big ears. Henceforth, little Johnny became known as Mouse. Years later John's brother, Jeff, had his first son, Ryne Alan (a.k.a. Tater) Jeff first logged onto AOL as TaterJeff. Since John first tried AOL using his brother's log in, he became quickly used to folks calling him Tater, so he tacked on his own nickname. Ever since, Little Johnny's now big and everyone refers to him as TaterMouse.

The End.

<img src=pix/icon_smokin.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2001 12:43 pm
by Yesmam
Altair, I get that all the time! In a way I DO teach people how to drink,,,,,responsibly. The people I deal with all have gotten into trouble with drugs and alcohol at least 1X. So, my job is to teach them what changes in attitude or behaviors in order not to get into trouble again. I really believe education works. I love my clients, I tell people that I can't believe that I get paid to hear the stories I hear, it's a hoot. By the way I loved your post about yourself.

It is nice getting to know more about everyone here. I laugh every time I get on Yestalk. I'm so glad I found this site. Hopefully, I will be able to get on the afterhours chat some sunday night. It that up and running? Does anyone know?

PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2001 1:08 pm
by N2yes
<font color=red>Sunday night, either 8 or 9 o'clock my dear. Be there or be...well, rectangular?</font id=red><img src=pix/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

<hr>Without Hope You Cannot Start The Day

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2001 3:41 am
by Yesmam
I will try to be there! <img src=pix/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle> I post on another message board and theres only 1 or 2 people there that interest me enought to want to chat with, I feel comfortable with everyone here. I guess it's our <img src=pix/icon_smile_angry.gif border=0 align=middle> mentality that makes us what we are. <img src=pix/icon_smile_cool.gif border=0 align=middle>

Altair, I forgot to respond to your DARE question. I don't know how effective that program is with kids and teenagers. I teach mostly adults, have only teenagers from time to time. SADD had me come in and address Jr and Sr.s this spring and they are DIFFICULT to say the least to talk to about this stuff. I had to keep saying "LISTEN UP!" cause their attention span isn't that long and they were all atwitter about going to the prom that evening.

Most people I teach are amazed at the things I teach them and it makes them look at drugs and alcohol (most specifically alcohol) with a little more respect. And many when their done with a drug and alcohol education course, think about it before they use. Which is all that I'm after, I want people to use responsibly, so that our roads are safe. <img src=pix/icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle>

One thing does piss me off is the slogan "Don't Drive Drunk". I have taught over 8000 DUI clients and I bet 90% of them DIDN'T think they were drunk the night they were arrested. Of course they didn't, they were drugged! I"d rather see "Don't Drink and Drive, Plan Ahead" as the anti drinking and driving slogan.

Well, Altair, you asked me one little question and got a lecture!!!! See how I am! I teach 4 2hr. classes on Wednesdays and a 3hr. class on Thurs. and here I am lecturing on YesTalk! Slap me would ya!!!<img src=pix/jestera.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2001 8:53 am
by N2yes
<font color=red>I remember the last "revealing" thread and how we all really got into it. Shall we re-indulge folks? There are many here among us now who haven't had the opportunity to "share" to the extent previously endeavored. It always seems to enhance the community feeling of our ever-growing home-away-from-home.</font id=red><img src=pix/icon_smile_blackeye.gif border=0 align=middle>

<hr>Without Hope You Cannot Start The Day

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2001 11:21 am
by Altair
Yesmam, fascinating commentary. Short attention span is such a shame. It's amazing how people can go through so many years of school and fail to learn how to listen.

I totally agree with you on the slogan. Great point. We don't think we are drunk when we are so drunk, or even when we are a little drunk.

I have been irresponsible one too many times, I must "reveal." Too many parties in Chico California; drive in sober and drive out hammered. Somehow, I made it through those years. What a fool! What a lucky fool.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2001 11:32 am
by Yesmam
I just went on a rant on the "Spirit of America" thread, so I won't do it here.

A little more about myself because you know:
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME! <img src=pix/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

I don't think I gave you a description of myself, other then the tats. I have (naturally)curly, (kinda naturally) blonde hair, and yes I laugh at dumb blonde jokes. I'm 5'7" and how much I weigh is no one business but my own. I wear funky little rectangle glasses and love my Chuck Taylor High Top tennis shoes, they make me run faster and jump higher, the fact that I neither run nor jump any more has no bearing on this conversation. I dress quite funky.

My best friend is Kathy and she can't stand YES, (shes nuts) but she likes Pink Floyd and Bonny Raitt and I can't stand them so were even.

I love to laugh, can laugh at myself and others easily. I think thats why I like this site, the sense of humor I pick up from the people on it. N2, now I want to see your legs! <img src=pix/icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

I have my pet peeves but am saving that for a whole new thread. Has it been done? Am I gonna catch hell if I post it? Do I dare? We'll see!<img src=pix/nw_anm.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2001 11:36 am
by Yesmam
Altair, I think we were posting at about the same time! We were all fools at one time, I'm just amazed that every vehicle I wrecked while drinking that I didn't kill myself or someone else. That doesn't sound right but I think you'll get the point.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2001 12:42 pm
by N2yes
<font color=red>Don't tempt me, Yesmam. Given the license, I can be quite the exhibitionist!</font id=red><img src=pix/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

<hr>Without Hope You Cannot Start The Day

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2001 3:23 am
by EricBliss12345
I like to start my first serious post in this thread by revealing how entirely pissed off I am today.

OK so last night me and my boyfriend were chillin', and drinkin' some beer. He had to be home before 12, and he had to work at 7 in the morning. Anyways around 11:30 he passed out on the couch. At 1/4 till 12 I tried to wake him up. I shook im and shook him and screamed at him "YOU HAVE TO GET UP! I dont want you getting in trouble." He mumbled some incoherent gibberish and i did manage to make out "I wont get in trouble" So he fell asleep again and I tried to wake him up again at 1/4 after 12, and it was a serious effort too. Once again, incoherent gibberish. SO then his mom calls, and Im thinkin' "Man dudes gonna be in trouble." So I woke him up screaming "YOUR MOM CALLED YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!!!!!!" Still no response, and I tried for like 10 minutes this time. So finally at 1 o clock one of my efforts was succussful, and all I got was "What the FUCK man you KNEW I had to be up to go home so I could go to work, and Im probabyl gonna get in trouble now. Thanks!" I said "Dude...I tried waking you up like 5 million times and you would not budge." And he said "Well whatever, APPARENTLY YOU DIDNT DO TOO GOOD OF A JOB, NO DID YOU?!?!?!?!?" So he was cussin up a storm and sreamed that he was leaving and slammed the door. He was my ride home, so I went out in the car to cool him down a bit. Once again i got the "this all your fault" trip. And i asked if he was taking me home, and he said "No, Im taking you to my moms becuase I have to wake up and apparently you didnt care enough to wake me up" So I told him to fuck off, got outta the car and walked the 45 minute walk home in the cold with a tshirt on.

So he calls me today, and was like "Dude explain to me what happened last night because I dont remember." So I told him everything that happened and he was like "How the fuck could you do that to me, I cant believe you!" And I said "Do what, you yelled at me and I didnt want to start an argument so I left." And he was like "Whatever...I was going to take you to my house and we couldve talked there, but that was uncalled for." I didnt even get a goddamn apology. <img src=pix/icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle>

So whos right here? Should I ditch this faggot-ass motherfucker or what?

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2001 5:16 am
by relayer4u
<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>

So whos right here? Should I ditch this faggot-ass motherfucker or what?
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></font id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

Maybe it's time to go back to women? <img src=pix/icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=pix/jestera.gif border=0 align=middle>

AND...I just want to show off my new icon pic! <img src=pix/icon_smile_angry.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2001 8:47 am
by N2yes
<font color=red>Having a more than avid interest in herpetology, I LOVE the pic there Relayer. Wonder where you got that from</font id=red><img src=pix/icon_smile_question.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=pix/icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

<hr>Without Hope You Cannot Start The Day

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2001 9:22 am
by relayer4u
Snakes are such wonderful and amazing creatures! I have kept a few as pets and I was always amazed at the pure focus of their instincts. If I can upload a decent picture of myself, in the future, I intend to eliminate my plagerism. <img src=pix/angel.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2001 11:30 am
by Yesmam
EricBliss, Instead of asking us, ask yourself, "Do I really need this crazy shit in my life?"<img src=pix/nw_anm.gif border=0 align=middle>

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2001 2:26 pm
by EricBliss12345
<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>Plus, posting this topic will be an irresistable lure for Eric, who will make me laugh. . . <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></font id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

I didnt even notice this quote until now. If youre laughing at anything its how pathetic I am and not me being funny. <img src=pix/icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle> Im glad you think Im funny sometimes, as I usually just feel like Im being impulsive and dumb.

I've been pretty down in the dumps lately and not feeling anything like myself. Im not keeping up with my schoolwork, I knew I wasnt ready for it yet. I REALLY wanted to work full time another year and pay off all my debt, which is for nothing, its 6 grand of credit that I have absolutely nothing to show for and Im still paying for it because Im a fucking idiot. But there was a lot of pressure from my mom and I just said Id enroll to shut her up. Stupid, STUPID idea. Now I feel like Im wasting her money. And I am. Im actually cool with the two clsses I attend, but Im not motivated enough to do these at home ones! Im NOT a self starter, and I knew it would be a bad idea.

Then of course theres my wonderful job at perkins washing dishes getting 15 hours a week for minimum wage. Thats really fun! I have 3 birthdays to shop for on Monday and plus my bills...Im in the negatives enough as it is. Money problems suck ass. I never knew what it was like to be poor. At the first job I ever had, my checks were usualy anywhere from $700-$1200 for my take home pay. I could afford my apartment, shop as much as I wanted, and have tons of extra cash. God I even bought new leather furniture! Now I get all excited when I have money to get drunk for a few days after I get paid and then hand it all over to the credit card companies. Thank god Im not on my own anymore, even though my basic needs are provided for by mom, this has been the most tremendous blow to my pride that Ive ever expeienced in my life. I cant believe im 21 and compleely dependant on my parents, this is so pathetic. I cant even drive for gods sakes, let alone afford a car, a '79 Pinto is out of my range. I have no freedom and no money, I feel like a child--like Im way behind everybody else my age, and its very frustrating because I feel so infantile.

Then theres that boy--its so terrible when you have feelings for somebody and then it turns out youre being used. How could I be such a fucking idiot? When I forced myself to stay single for two years it was the greatest. For real I cant believe Ive dealt with this for almost 3 months and I was blind to how arrogant and selfish he was the whole time. Ive been told that he had a little "creep" on the side too, another huge blow to my pride. That wasnt confirmed, and I dont know if it happened or not, but if it did... I was so nice to him to. <img src=pix/icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle>

Then theres my band, I just keep feeling more and more distant from them as time goes on, theres no good musicians around here at all. I dont think Ive talked to the singer for 2 months! I always show up like, 3 hours after practice because of my school and work schedules, and the drummer and guitar player stay around so I can learn the new songs, which of course I dont get to have any say so in the writing, as Im never there. Actually I did write a song and we were learning it at practice about a month ago. There were about three parts that were way to hard for them to play, they had to play them like 5 times slower to play the notes. Apparently it wasnt worth their time to practice them so its back to the drop D barre-cord heavy metal riffing again. Oh yeah, and we got another guitarist. HUGE pantera/slayer fan. It just keeps gettin' better guys!!!

Sorry to come accross like a miserable whining cunt, but it does feel good to vent about this stuff, and I apologize if you actually sat through this and read it all.

Peace out....