Holy Rollers and Music: Less Crap--More Filling



Postby tribute1969 » Mon Jul 10, 2006 4:42 am

SO IF SOMEONE STARTS EMAILING YOU IN ALL UPPER CASE LETTERS...
DUCK!!!


tardistraveler wrote:Why mess with all that rambling language in Revelation? It's all charted out for us right HERE! :D

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/features/armaged.htm
WAR IS OVER! IF YOU WANT IT!
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WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT SPIRIT HERE SINCE 1969...
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Postby YesThatIsHowe » Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:21 pm

tardistraveler wrote:Why mess with all that rambling language in Revelation? It's all charted out for us right HERE! :D

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/features/armaged.htm


"Famine calls Pestilence 'a pasty little queen' in newspaper interview" ?
Well, everyone, we've certainly ARRIVED!

[:yes]
Bill

The Yes Album Mannequin Head
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Confession Made Easy!

Postby tardistraveler » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:02 pm

From the comfort of your computer desk . . . now you can repent your sins whenever the need may arise . . . ;)


http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
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It IS Unusual

Postby tardistraveler » Thu Aug 10, 2006 4:15 pm

Wonder if offerings are in panties instead of money???


http://www.churchoftomjones.com/index.asp
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Postby tribute1969 » Thu Aug 10, 2006 5:44 pm

Church of Elvis, Rabbi Neil Diamond...what next....funny stuff....


tardistraveler wrote:Wonder if offerings are in panties instead of money???


http://www.churchoftomjones.com/index.asp
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Better Watch What You Buy!

Postby tardistraveler » Fri Aug 11, 2006 4:51 pm

You MAY be patronizing a conspirator of the New World Order, or Satan himself!

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Wicca%20&%20Witchcraft/devil_companies.htm
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Naked Bible Study in "Bluffton"....

Postby tribute1969 » Fri Aug 11, 2006 7:51 pm

WAR IS OVER! IF YOU WANT IT!
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WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT SPIRIT HERE SINCE 1969...
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Postby tardistraveler » Fri Aug 11, 2006 8:22 pm

Good one, Nolan!

Naked Bible study would be MUCH more interesting . . . ;)
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Jesus' mother Was Dark......

Postby tribute1969 » Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:31 pm

Jesus can now say "Bite Me"....
and we now know where the expression
"I'm Black and I'm Proud" came from......
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14400252/?GT1=8404
WAR IS OVER! IF YOU WANT IT!
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Postby tardistraveler » Sat Aug 19, 2006 1:11 am

Wonder if the Golden Palace casino will wind up with that one???
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Wear the Armor of God to Bed!

Postby tardistraveler » Wed Aug 23, 2006 3:38 pm

Because some people will buy anything???

http://www.armorofgodpjs.com/
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Postby tribute1969 » Wed Aug 23, 2006 4:20 pm

They look like children's KKK uniforms........


tardistraveler wrote:Because some people will buy anything???

http://www.armorofgodpjs.com/
WAR IS OVER! IF YOU WANT IT!
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WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT SPIRIT HERE SINCE 1969...
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Postby tardistraveler » Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:34 pm

tribute1969 wrote:They look like children's KKK uniforms........


Wonder if they protect against STD's??? :rolleyes:
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Will It Never End???

Postby tardistraveler » Fri Aug 25, 2006 3:18 pm

Toast, tortillas, now turtles???


Ananova:

Virgin Mary 'appears on turtle'

A Chicago woman claims the image of the Virgin Mary has appeared on the stomach of a pet turtle.

Shirley McVane, 81, says it appeared on a sand turtle bought by her grandson, reports the Chicago Sun-Times.

Shirley's daughter, Dolly Fordyce, 58, said: "I thought we were going crazy the first time I saw it. I looked at it and said, 'It can't be.' But then I looked again. I mean, you can't deny it."

Mrs McVane added: "She came to a holy house. I think she came to visit us so God knows she's happy and safe."

Dianne Dunagan, spokeswoman for the Archdiocese of Chicago, said: "If something like that causes people to think about God and pray, that's a good thing.

"Time usually takes care of these things. If it gets to the point where people are flocking to this thing, the church will call in experts. If people forget about it, it may just fade away."
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Another Kind of Rapture

Postby tribute1969 » Thu Aug 31, 2006 8:57 pm

WAR IS OVER! IF YOU WANT IT!
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WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT SPIRIT HERE SINCE 1969...
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Postby tardistraveler » Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:28 pm



"Inspirational" to say the least . . . ;)

How come most churches don't teach Song of Solomon???
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Postby N2yes » Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:23 am

That one does seem to be left out of the top biblical 40 doesn't it? Shame as I believe Solomon is right on the money here!
"Master of images-Songs cast a light on you"
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Jesus on MySpace . . .

Postby tardistraveler » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:24 pm

Guess Jesus WOULD use the latest technology to appeal to the masses . . . :rolleyes:


This from Ananova.com

Jesus joins MySpace

Jesus Christ has joined MySpace with an online page advertising his love of beards, extreme water-skiing and the Life of Brian.

it's part of a campaign by the Churches' Advertising Network to provoke debate about God among young people this Christmas.

Posters showing the face of Jesus in beer foam in a pint glass will be accompanied by the question: "Where will you find him?"

The adverts will direct readers to myspace.com/isthisjesus - a page on the social networking site MySpace.

"It may be very arrogant to set up Jesus's MySpace," said Simon Jenkins, of Churches' Advertising Network. "But it is a voyage of exploration. Let's hope God is guiding it in the right direction.

"MySpace is hugely culturally significant. It is the place where young people are most likely to meet up and we need to go to our audience."

The charity, which has teetotal Salvation Army representatives and Methodists as well as members of the Church of England, denied that the pint-glass posters would encourage drinking.

Tony Miles, a Methodist minister, said: "Binge-drinking is a huge problem but this is an image that young people are familiar with and is meant to illustrate that you find God in unexpected places."

The group, which has no formal links with the Roman Catholic Church or the Church of England, has ruffled feathers in previous years by depicting Jesus as Che Guevara.

It has also portrayed the Last Supper as a boardroom meeting of multinational companies, with Judas as Microsoft.
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Holy Mutha!

Postby tardistraveler » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:30 pm

Did a search on Jesus Christ MySpace - didn't come up with the site mentioned above, but DID bump into THIS one . . .


http://www.myspace.com/holymutha
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Postby Thoughtbecontact » Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:30 pm

Henry Mancini music?
Ya know, I thought people who frequent fan music forums were just a bit touched in the brains department, but geeez, to create THAT!!!! Yikes!
AWAKEN/GENTLE/MASS/TOUCH
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Postby wild_westie » Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:31 pm

Thoughtbecontact wrote:Henry Mancini music?
Ya know, I thought people who frequent fan music forums were just a bit touched in the brains department, but geeez, to create THAT!!!! Yikes!



Image

He only has 152 friends.
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Postby wild_westie » Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:32 pm

<TABLE id=grayBox cellSpacing=2 cellPadding=2 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD> Have a Pint of Jesus
</TD></TR><TR><TD>Image</TD></TR><TR><TD>[CENTER][/CENTER]
An image of Jesus is to appear in pint glasses in commercials in England this Christmas as part of a campaign to encourage young people back to the Church. It is part of an advertising campaign that aims to provoke debate and boost numbers at a time when church attendance is in serious decline. The Churches' Advertising Network, an inter-denominational group of Christians which has previously depicted Jesus as a baby Santa Claus and the revolutionary Che Guevara, said the new advertisement highlights the global trend for seeing religious figures in everyday objects.
[RIGHT]
Originally reported by The U-K Telegraph.[/RIGHT]
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
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Postby tribute1969 » Wed Sep 20, 2006 7:56 pm

I am NOT a PROMISE KEEPER.....
avert my eyes.....never, I enjoy all 6 each day ....too bad the author's last name wasn't Stroker...that would have been priceless....

http://www.promisekeepers.org/meetjesus/links.aspx

Male Sexuality on God’s Terms, Part I
by Fred Stoeker

Sexually, are you walking with God on His terms? I wasn’t.

During college, I had memorized the dates when each of my favorite pornographic magazines was delivered to the campus bookstore. On those days, I’d sweep through their door as they opened for business at 9:00 a.m. to snatch up the latest copies. In my first year out of college, I had four girlfriends at once and was sleeping with three of them. I was swamped in sexual sin.

But one lovely May evening I committed my heart to Christ, and shortly ditched the girlfriends. Within a year, God introduced me to my wife Brenda, a pure lamb who had never strayed from His paths.

I had never seen such purity. Inspired, I knew something had to be done about the pornography. Since my wedding in 1981, I have never purchased pornography, nor have I viewed cyber-sex on the Internet.

Trouble is, I was like most Christian men. Like the boy who ignores his neck and ears at bath-time, I had only cleaned up so far. I still lingered long and hard over lingerie ads in the Sunday morning newspaper inserts. My eyes still locked on joggers and other thinly clad women. On business trips, I still watched PG-13 and R-movies. These didn’t warrant God’s attention, or so I thought.

But God’s standard was far higher than I had imagined, and soon I sensed that I was paying some prices in my spiritual life over these things, including a distance from God. What is God’s standard?

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.

Ephesians 5:3


A hint? Not even a hint? As a new Christian, I wasn’t sure what that meant.

Neither did anyone else, it seemed. Christian brothers responded to my questions, “You can’t control your eyes! Don’t worry about this. God understands!" Or, “You can’t control what you think about! Who knows where thoughts come from?"

No one seemed concerned, so I just pushed more heavily into church activities, hoping to eliminate that distance from God. I chaired the Young Couples Activities Committee, and soon earned a reputation as an effective Sunday school teacher. I seemed the model Christian.

But I knew the truth. I was paying prices, and the bills were piling up. Do you recognize something similar in your life?

I was paying a price with my God. I couldn’t look Him in the eye anymore because I had already prayed nine hundred times about my sexual sin and had still done nothing. Every Sunday in the sanctuary I saw men in true worship, but knew I wasn’t making similar connection with Him.

I was paying a price with Brenda. I couldn’t give myself fully to her, suspecting that one day she’d discover my sin and loathe me for it. It was too risky to give her my whole heart. And then there were Brenda’s dreams. More than once she rushed downstairs with tears and terror on her face while I was in the very act of viewing lingerie ads. “I just had a horrible dream. Satan was chasing me, and I was racing desperately to find you so you could protect me. I called and called, but no matter where I ran, I couldn’t find you." Torn, I wondered, “Has my sin crushed my spiritual protection over her?"

And what about my precious son? Might this be a generational sin? I was tortured, crying deep inside, “Will I pass this on to my son? Is there no way to be free from this?"

At work, if I lost a couple deals in a row, I’d wonder if God had taken off His hand of blessing from my life. At church, I never arrived prepared to minister to others. Every Sunday morning I would arrive at church needing prayer and forgiveness over what I’d just done with the newspaper.

I had no peace. I was paying prices in every area of my life, but the worst was that distance from God. I hated it.

Two Bible verses chased me. The first one echoed daily:

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ but do not do what I say?"

Luke 6:46




Jesus had a point. Was He my Lord, or wasn’t He? The second made my head spin:

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."

Job 31:1


A covenant with the eyes? How can eyes keep a promise? While I didn’t understand, one thing was certain—I had clearly fallen short. Meditating upon this verse again and again, I was convinced that Job could help me.

Then one day I was driving down Merle Hay Road in Des Moines having just failed God for the millionth time. Tormented by grinding guilt, I’d finally had enough. Slamming my fists into the steering wheel, I shouted, “I don’t care what it is going to take or what it will cost, I am going to make a covenant with my eyes. It stops here."

I had engaged the battle. Perhaps you need to engage the battle. You are robbing your wife (or future one). You are robbing your God. How long must they wait? Isn’t it time?

You need a covenant with your eyes. God made men differently from women. We actually draw true sexual gratification through our eyes. While our wives are supposed to be our sole vessel of sexual gratification on the earth, most men are drawing a good bit of their sexual gratification from the environment surrounding them through their eyes. Consider my story.

As part of the covenant, I set a blockade around my eyes concerning joggers, billboards, movies, lingerie ads and the rest. About three weeks into the process, my desire for Brenda leaped off any known scale. Since only she could pass the blockade, she looked mighty fine. She noticed the jump in my desire, but passed it off as a temporary little jag, saying to herself, “I’m sure this will be over soon! Men are so weird!"

But before long she began to worry, asking herself, “What if this is permanent?" Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore, turning to me and leveling the question, “What am I doing to make myself so attractive so I can stop it?"

It was clear what had happened. Evidently, far more of my sexual needs were being filled through my eyes than I had imagined. I’d been blind to it, but having blocked these outside channels, my full sexual desire was now aimed solely at her.

You, too, are likely drawing some sexual gratification from outside your home (or God’s plans for you to wait). To be sexually pure, you must train your eyes to “bounce" away from sights of pretty women and similar sensual images. “Bouncing the eyes" is the foundation of Job’s covenant with the eyes.

By nature, of course, your eyes bounce toward the sexual. Until now, you’ve always looked to your heart’s content. You must build a reflex action by training your eyes to bounce away from the sexual immediately, like the jerk of a hand from a hot stove. When your eyes bounce toward a woman, they must bounce away immediately.

How do we train the new reflex? This habit of your eyes is no different from any other habit. Experts say that anything done consistently for twenty-one days becomes a new habit. I’ve found that with strong conscious effort over a six-week period, your eyes will learn to consistently bounce away from the sensual.

I’ve been overwhelmed by e-mails from men who are now free from sexual sin after years of struggle. My book Every Man’s Battle was written to provide a detailed, step-by-step plan for building this covenant with the eyes. In this process, I recommend you must define your greatest enemies to your sexual purity, the most obvious and prolific sources for sexual gratification outside of your wife (or future one). Where are you weakest? Where do you look most often?

For me, I had no trouble coming up with my Top Six:

1. Female joggers in tight nylon shorts

2. Lingerie advertisements

3. Billboards of scantily clad women

4. Beer-and-bikini commercials

5. Movies rated PG-13 or higher

6. Receptionists with low-cut or tight blouses

You’ll then need to define a defense for each one. In Every Man’s Battle I share the details of my defenses and the obstacles to victory. Your mind and eyes will initially resist this discipline, and will fight the blockade. My own experiences will help show you what to expect.
WAR IS OVER! IF YOU WANT IT!
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WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT SPIRIT HERE SINCE 1969...
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Bong Hits for Jesus!

Postby tardistraveler » Wed Dec 06, 2006 9:00 pm

Looks like the Supreme Court is going to hear THIS one!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15990557/
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Rappin' with Jesus

Postby tardistraveler » Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:04 pm

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BEER or JESUS

Postby tribute1969 » Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:57 pm

WAR IS OVER! IF YOU WANT IT!
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WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT SPIRIT HERE SINCE 1969...
Hotel California
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Postby YesJodi » Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:51 pm

tardistraveler wrote:And if you need more evidence that homosexuality is ingrained, and not a choice - check this one out . . .


http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1275591.html?menu=news.quirkies


I just thought I would mention that the old testament states that a man shalt not lay down with a man. It also states that a man shalt not lay down with a woman during her "time". It also states that we shall not eat shellfish. It also states that we shall not eat pork. It also states that on Tuesdays we shall not walk on the left side of the street.

See what I mean? It's ridiculous to quote the bible about the gay issue like the right wing christians do, it's just ludicrous!!!

Personally, I think Jesus would like the homosexuals, they are alot more fun and have better food than those bible bangers. ;)
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One Punk Under God..

Postby tribute1969 » Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:20 pm

WAR IS OVER! IF YOU WANT IT!
John and Yoko Ono Lennon-1969
WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT SPIRIT HERE SINCE 1969...
Hotel California
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Postby tribute1969 » Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:09 pm

Fore Shame!

http://www.slate.com/id/2155745

faith-based: Religion, spirituality, and sacrilege.
Fore Shame
Did the Vatican steal Jesus' foreskin so people would shut up about the savior's penis?
By David Farley
Posted Tuesday, Dec. 19, 2006, at 12:32 PM ET
In 1983, as the residents of Calcata, a small town 30 miles north of Rome, prepared for their annual procession honoring a holy relic, a shocking announcement from the parish priest put a damper on festivities. "This year, the holy relic will not be exposed to the devotion of the faithful. It has vanished. Sacrilegious thieves have taken it from my home." Not since the Middle Ages, when lopped-off body parts of divine do-gooders were bought, sold, and traded, has relic theft been big news. But the mysterious disappearance of Calcata's beloved curio is different.

This wasn't just the residuum of any holy human—nor was it just any body part. It was the foreskin of Jesus Christ, the snipped-off tip of the savior's penis, the only piece of his body he supposedly left on earth.

Just what the holy foreskin was doing in the priest's house—in a shoebox at the back of his wardrobe, no less—and why and how it disappeared has been debated ever since the relic vanished. Some suspect the village priest sold it for a heavenly sum; others say it was stolen by thieves and ended up on the relics black market; some even suggest Satanists or neo-Nazis are responsible. But the most likely culprit is an unlikely one: the Vatican.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And why not? Protestant doubt ("They couldn't let Christ's body go without keeping a piece," John Calvin quipped) and the scientific revolution, which changed our thinking from superstitious to skeptical, have taken their toll on a relic that once rested high atop the pious pecking order of blessed body parts. It's understandable that the 20th-century church began feeling a bit bashful about the idea of its flock fawning over the 2,000-year-old tip of the redeemer's manhood. Still, when I arrived in Calcata six months ago, the idea of a Vatican theft of Jesus' foreskin sounded more like a ganja-induced brainstorming session with Dan Brown and Danielle Steele. But some transplanted bohemians, a deathbed confession, and a little historical context have convinced me otherwise.

Even before its disappearance, the relic had a strange history. It was discovered in Calcata in 1557, and a series of miracles soon followed (freak storms, perfumed mists engulfing the village). The church gave the finding a seal of approval by offering a 10-year indulgence to those who came to venerate. Lines of pilgrims stretched from the church doors to beyond the walls of the fortress town. Nuns and monks from nearby villages and monasteries made candlelit processions. Calcata was a must-see destination on the pilgrimage map.

That is, until 1900. Facing increasing criticism after the "rediscovery" of a holy foreskin in France, the Vatican decreed that anyone who wrote about or spoke the name of the holy foreskin would face excommunication. And 54 years later, when a monk wanted to include Calcata in a pilgrimage tour guide, Vatican officials didn't just reject the proposal (after much debate). They upped the punishment: Now, anyone uttering its name would face the harshest form of excommunication—"infamous and to be avoided"—even as they concluded that Calcata's holy foreskin was more legit than other claimants'.

But that wasn't the end of the holy foreskin. In the late 1960s, government officials, worried that crumbling cliffs and threatening earthquakes might doom the village, decided to build a new town. Hippies discovered the newly abandoned town, which was awaiting a government wrecking crew, and squatted in, then legally purchased, the vacated buildings. Some of the bohemian transplants were intrigued by Calcata's relic, which was now only shown to the public during the village's annual New Year's Day procession (even though the Vatican II reforms removed the Day of the Holy Circumcision from the church calendar). The new residents began writing about the quirky event and relic for newspapers in and around Rome, and Calcata's scandalous prepuce was isolated no more. And the church took notice.

Was this the reason Dario Magnoni, the local priest, brought the relic from the church to his home? Who knows. Magnoni refuses to speak about the relic, citing the 1954 threat of excommunication. Magnoni's predecessor, Mario Mastrocola, didn't want to talk about the relic, either, but when asked if he was surprised to hear it had been stolen, he shook his head. When pressed, he said, "The relic would not have been taken away from Calcata if I were still the priest there."

Mastrocola's ambiguous words—while not directly incriminating anyone—hinted at underhanded church dealings (interview requests with the Vatican went unanswered). And later, I found myself sitting in a wine cellar halfway up the hill between the old and new villages of Calcata. Capellone, the cellar's owner and a lifelong Calcatese, told me about his close relationship with a former local bishop, Roberto Massimiliani. Ailing in bed, the bishop told Capellone that when he was gone, so too would be the relic. Bishop Massimiliani passed away soon after, in 1975. Eight years after that, the relic disappeared. "To me, it almost felt like a confession," said Capellone. "Like he needed to tell someone before he died."

Could the "sacrilegious thieves" Magnoni mentioned in his 1983 announcement about the relic's disappearance actually have been Vatican emissaries? The thought of masked, black-clad Vatican agents on a mission to steal Jesus' foreskin does sound alluring. But for residents like Capellone, who swear the Vatican now has the relic, the thief could be Magnoni himself. Some locals claim they saw him go to Rome the day before he made the announcement, generating speculation that the Vatican asked for it and Magnoni not only failed to stand up to them, he delivered the relic himself.

Sold, stolen, or delivered to the Vatican—or even all three—the holy foreskin of Calcata is probably gone for good, even as some residents persist in the hope that it will return. And the church is certainly breathing a sigh of relief. While most of the other copies of the relic were destroyed during the Reformation and the French Revolution, Calcata's holy foreskin lived long past its expiration date, like a dinosaur surviving the meteoric blast of the scientific revolution.

But if it had survived, it would have been only a matter of time before someone wanted to clone it. And that could have given the Second Coming an entirely new meaning.
WAR IS OVER! IF YOU WANT IT!
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WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT SPIRIT HERE SINCE 1969...
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Postby YesJodi » Mon Jan 22, 2007 8:07 pm

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